Friday, May 17, 2013

The Leather Bound Book Called Life

 As children, we dreamed of the whole fairy tale romance at least once in our lives. Picture perfect dream, yeah that's the one. Shame we loose those dreams as we get older. I always try to encourage my kids imagination to run free and wild, because it will fade into the shadows of tea parties and super heroes. I was what you would consider a traditional romantic. I believed marriage was a one time thing and once I was someones "Mrs." happiness would be unlimited. The whole pretty picture...the house with the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a lovely dog named Skip. I know, you're probably thinking is this woman for real? Well I was young when I married, just turned 23 and had a 5 month old babe to care for. I didn't know I was wearing the rose colored glasses. I believed in everything that person said to me and thought nothing could hurt me as long as I was loved by him. Well, let's just say 14 years later and I am a whole lot wiser. LOL. As parents, we don't want our kids to repeat the same mistakes we did as youth. I guess I owe my mom an apology for giving her so much grief as a child. Children today are mesmerized by the telly, the social networks, & the internet and how glamorous life looks. They want to grow up so quickly to experience what "real life" is that they forget how old they really are... My daughter is at that age where boys are no longer these gross, germy creatures but potential heart throbs....SUPER SCARED! I try to explain to her to not grow up so quickly and to enjoy still having the freedom to dream. Yes, I do have a son as well but luckily he is still into WWE and being a boy. :) She wants so much to be my lil clone. As a mom, I worry alot! She only has 8 more years till she is considered an adult and time is like a ticking time bomb in my favor. I wish there was a pause button or even a rewind button to correct the mistakes in the past... but we are not that lucky... Life will go on and I have to do whatever I can to be a part of her life. Enjoy the splenders of joy and the tears of heartbreak. I know that things with her father and I have been the rollercoaster of the decade and maybe she is just trying to find her own piece of happiness. I just hope I get to keep her my lil young lady for just a bit longer. After all, she and her little brother have to be there to give me away.... Yes I will be going for that dream again only this time I have the right guy. The love of my life. Till next time, Moms...just breath!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Life is like a spin cycle in the washer machine

We are born and we die, but what happens inbetween our entrance and our exit is what I call the spin cycle. Our struggle to come into this world and take that first breath doesn't mean much to us at that point in time. We are accepted into our own lil program of life. Our traditions and upbringing isn't who we really are but what is given to us. The cycle that we, each of us, live everyday is who we are. Some of us have important roles that grow into a career in life, some of us are repopulating the world with hopeful species to take us into the brighter future, some of us are paired up with a soulmate and have what everyone of us hopes and dreams about (those are the lucky ones), then there are those of us who are still trying to find their meaning in life. Like clothes that are worn and soiled , they must be put into the washer to wash away the mistakes and life lessons so that they can be reused and enjoyed. I once was one of those types of people. So careless and free spirited. I enjoyed the after taste of whiskey and beer and loved the drug induced coma and spontaneous sex play. Everyone has to go their own paths... but we all end up in the same place, the spin cycle. Our bodies squeezed dry and wrinkled and fresh.... Sometimes we have just alittle bit more life but the more and more we are washed and ran through the cycle of life we grow into elders and begin the path of our own exits. All of us choose how we are going to leave and no one else can make the choice but remember that just like your favorite shirt, sweater, or even a pair of grungy sweat pants we are all cherished and love and we were worn and enjoyed....

Happy journey to those who seek out the meaning of life but I think I will wear these old pants for a couple more loads of wash. We are all but the masses of decay waiting for our train to arrive and take us to that next plane of reality. I just hope what train you get on will be the better afterlife that this nine circles of hell you are waiting in.....

The Rosy Colored Glasses Have Come Off

Okay, its been alittle bit of time apart from the last post. So to catch you up on whats been going kids father once again has left the building only this time the door has been welded up shut. As women, we understand the dedication and commitment just like our male companions. But for anyone who has had their life turned upside down because their partner is selfish and doesn't take what their actions will do to you or the children in the relationship should be smacked. Point and simple. I am generally a very trusting creature, and my trust with a particular person has been shattered. Do not say it is my fault, do not blame your actions onto others.... we chose a life together. The thing that sucks the most is the children get caught inbetween the crossfire of the parents. They are innocent, reassure them that both parties love them and that it will not change. And for pete sake's remember that the kids are half of both. So if you bad mouth the other parent, the kids will see it as they are half bad. Please DO NOT Do that! As adults, we have to maintain the security of the household for the young. That is our job. Yes, I was mad! Yes, I felt betrayed! I am not going to lie that I felt abandoned and belittled, but I have my kids and life will go on. The event of my world crumbling was end of Feb 2013, since then I have stayed strong and taking care of my family. That is all we can do. Be the adult and survive through all the ugliness because we are the parents. Since then, my life has had a new beginning and a new love. There is hope for all who have suffered through this same fate. Take control of your own lives and do not look back. I wish everyone out there a blessed day and I look forward to you visiting my blog again soon. :)